Freaking out!!!

Earlier today I tried calling Grandma, but I only got her answering machine. I left a message that I was calling to check what the doctor had said, and if she was going to have her surgery...

Tonight I checked my home email (which I've only been doing about once a week) and found the following message from my aunt:

Jennifer I'm so sorry to have left you off the previous emails. This was yesterday:
I got a call this morning, 12/12/2007, around 6:30 am from St. Mary's ER. Mom called 911 with shortness of breath and throwing up blood. In the ER they put a tube down her nose into her stomach to drain out the blood, then moved her up to a step down ICU where she was scoped at noon. The doctor said she had an ulcer in her stomach and one in her small intestine. They were already healing and he has put her on meds to help them heal. She will be in the hospital overnight, released probably tomorrow evening. The doctor said it was probably due to ibuprofen. I have been rescheduling her pre-op appts, since they were for tomorrow, and with luck she will still have back surgery on the 18th. Not a real major thing, and so far, knock on wood, none of the doctor think it will keep her from the surgery. Her saw her doctor yesterday(Jerry took her) and he said she was fine to have the surgery. Anyway, will keep you posted.
Love, Becky

The next read:
Well, she will remain in the hospital tonight, and the surgery on the 18th has been canceled. Dr. Clifford, back guy, wants her to be healed and blood back to normal before he operates, after the first of the year. She is being keep today and tonight because her blood count is low. I was over at her house and listened to the messages, here are some phone numbers:
Becky..970-***-**** (deleted to maitain my family's privacy)
Deborah...970-***-****
Jerry Bob...505-***-***, cell 505-***-****
St. Mary's Hospital...970-***-****, room ***
She is doing very well, but ready to come home. Do not know what they will give her for the back pain. There is nothing anyone can do at this point and really nothing when she comes home. Just hope she is not a "BEAR" until the surgery. Will let you know if anything comes up or changes. Love, Becky

The last message was a new phone number to call grandma at the hospital...

So of course now I'm really freaking out. I'm feeling guilty because I didn't call earlier in the week. I'm wondering if I need to drive out there tomorrow. I feel like a terrible granddaughter because I haven't been very attentive to her lately due to my own issues that I'm currently dealing with. Here comes the guilt again...

I just spoke with both of my uncles - they both say she is doing fine & there really isn't any need to come out. She's supose to be home tomorrow, so I will call & see if she needs me...

God I hate being out here on my own & out of the loop!