Hhhhmmmmmmm.....

Anti-Social Behavior Disorder

Persistent lying or stealing
Apparent lack of remorse or empathy for others
Inability to keep jobs or stay in school
Impulsivity and/or recklessness
Lack of realistic, long-term goals - an inability or persistant failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals
Poor behavior controls - expressions of irritability, annoyance,impatience,threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper
Recurring difficulties with the law
Tendency to violate the boundries and rights of others
Substance abuse
Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights
Inability to tolerate boredom
Disregard for the safety of self or others
Persistant attitude of irrespinsibility
Difficulties with authority figures
Borrows money without repaying it
Arrogant and overly confident
Failure to plan ahead

A person with antisocial behavior might appear very charming and outgoing at first. However, friendships and relationships are hard to maintain as it becomes clear that it is too difficult to be close to this person. What first seems to be daring and fun becomes dangerous and thoughtless.

People exhibiting antisocial behavior are extremely selfish and self-centered.

This behavior in adults is not easily treated by psychotherapy or medication, as there is little motivation for adults to change. If you suspect an adult with this disorder it is best to avoid him as much as possible to protect yourself and your family.

Geee..... this kind of sounds like someone I know.

On election day

Let no one be discouraged
by the belief there is nothing one man or woman
can do against the enormous array of the world’s ills --
against misery and ignorance, injustice and violence
… few will have the greatness to bend history itself,
but each of us can work to change a small portion of events,
and in the total of all those acts
will be written the history of the generation.
It is from numberless, diverse acts of courage
and belief that human history is shaped.

Each time a person stands up for an ideal,
or acts to improve the lot of others,
or strikes out against injustice,
he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope,
and, crossing each other from a million
different centers of energy and daring,
these ripples build a current
that can sweep down the mightiest of walls
of oppression and resistance.

By Robert F. Kennedy

Emotional Castaways

By Wray Herbert
http://www.newsweek.com/id/81229/page/1

In the 2000 film "Cast Away," Tom Hanks plays an obsessive, clock-watching businessman, Chuck Noland, who by a twist of fate finds himself stranded on an isolated Pacific island. Noland copes with his four years of social disconnection and loneliness in part by befriending a volleyball, which he names Wilson. He jokes with Wilson and confides in Wilson and mistreats Wilson, and at one point he even kicks his companion out of their cave like an angry spouse. When he finally and irretrievably loses his volleyball to the ocean currents, he cries, "I'm sorry, Wilson!"

We've all had fantasies about living alone on a tropical island, far from the din and pressure of modern life. But we should watch what we wish for, because in fact most of us would fare poorly in such isolated conditions. This has been shown time and again: people who live lonely and disconnected lives, even smack in the middle of a modern metropolis, are more depressed, more suicidal and have more physical illnesses than the rest of us. Such longing is especially poignant at holiday time. The lonely are in effect emotional castaways.

And how do emotional castaways cope? What cognitive tools do we have to salve the pain of loneliness? Psychologists are very interested in this question, and one emerging theory is that we do precisely what Chuck Noland knew intuitively to do. We "invent" people to keep us company, humanizing anything we can humanize—pets, supernatural beings, possibly even something as unlikely as a volleyball.

A team of psychologists recently decided to explore the "volleyball hypothesis" in the laboratory. Nicholas Epley, Adam Waytz and John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago and Scott Akalis of Harvard ran three different studies on the link between loneliness and anthropomorphism—the tendency to give human traits to nonhuman things like terriers and alarm clocks. Their findings shed some new light not only on human coping but on the unfortunate human tendency to dehumanize strangers.

The psychologists began by sorting out people who consider themselves chronically lonely from those who feel they are well connected with friends and family. In the first study, they introduced both the lonely and the connected to a few technological gadgets: For example, "Clocky" is a wheeled alarm clock that you must chase around the room in order to stop its ringing. "Pillow mate" is a torso-shaped pillow that can be programmed to give hugs.

Participants then rated each gadget on such traits as: "has a mind of its own" and "exercises free will" and "experiences emotions." They also rated each on nonhuman traits like efficiency and attractiveness.

The results were interesting but open to interpretation. Lonely people were much more likely than connected people to believe that pillows have emotions and clocks have intentions and schemes. But it could well be that people with pet clocks end up alone, rather than the other way around. So the scientists decided to look at loneliness a different way, and at the same time to broaden the study to include beliefs in the supernatural.

In the next study, the psychologists actually induced feelings of loneliness and disconnection in the lab. They tricked the college-age subjects into thinking they were taking a personality test, and then further deceived them into thinking a computer could make accurate life predictions for them based on their personality type. So some were basically made to believe that they would end up living lives of social isolation, while others learned that they would have lives full of rich social connection. Then the psychologists interviewed the participants to gauge their beliefs in God, the Devil, angels, ghosts, miracles and so forth.

The findings were clear. Those facing a life of loneliness were more apt to believe in supernatural agents of all kinds. As the authors write in the journal Psychological Science, loneliness doesn't turn atheists into fundamentalists, but it does appear to nudge people toward believing in various incarnations, some darker than others. Even bad company is company, it appears, and better than being alone.
Not surprisingly, the psychologists found the same pattern with pets. That is, people who were made to feel lonely were more likely to humanize their dogs and cats and hamsters than were people who feel well loved.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing? It depends on how you look at it. Clearly, humanizing Old Shep or an old baseball glove is a bit bizarre, yet it does appear to truly help some extremely isolated souls cope with their condition. On the other hand, the psychologists say, it's quite possible that some people are actually substituting such relationships for true human connection, perhaps because people are too threatening.

There is a more unsettling possibility, as well. If the human mind is wired to make lonely people hunger for connection, as these studies show, then the inverse is probably also true. That is, people who are not lonely, who are secure in their circle of friends and family, may be more likely to dehumanize strangers; they have no motivation to make further connections. So perhaps it's not entirely fanciful for an emotional castaway to befriend a volleyball, but for most of us the greater risk may be treating real flesh-and-blood humans as playthings.


I know, I know, I know! You can be quiet now....

Thought for the day

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.
- Charles Dickens

Just thinking...

So, I’ve had a few things pop into my head over the last few days. The first is to maybe transfer my credits and start a veterinary technology program. The simple fact is that I’m not happy where I’m at right now, and I’m having my doubts as to whether or not I really want to finish my degree in laboratory science, or focus on something I may find more fulfilling. The second is that I might like to join a boxing gym. I really need to get into shape (I know, I know, round is a shape, but not the shape I want to be) and it kind of sounds like fun. There’s a local gym that I’m thinking about checking out. The question is whether or not I would actually go. Maybe I can convince my friend Diane to join with me.

Though for the Day

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
- Abraham Lincoln

Thought for the day

Men often hate each other because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don't know each other; they don't know each other because they can not communicate; they can not communicate because they are separated. - Martin Luther King

Expectations

Last week Lee and I discussed the difference between expectations and what can be expected.
What the difference, right?
Expectations are little stories that we tell ourselves. Expectations are little scenarios that we allow to play out in our minds. Expectations set us up for disappointment; our fantasies rarely materialize into reality.
To turn expectations into what can actually be expected you must communicate your wants and desires. Once you get them out of your head and into the open, the illusions disappear.
So, to my readers: I have shared this address with you because you are someone that I care about and want to share parts of my life with. When I began this blog, it was simply intended to be an outlet for my feeling and for my eyes only. I poured my heart out, feeling the safety that I could not be judged for my expression. That changed when I started to share my blog with you. I have held back; I have used others words to express how I feel, buffering my emotions as to avoid judgement, ridicule, and resentment. I want no more of the false embodiment. I want to once again to be free with what I write.
Here is what I expect of you, as you read this henceforth:
Accept me for the person I am: a woman with a full range of emotions that strives to make more out of the life I have been given.
Refrain from judgement for having good and bad days; for speaking my mind, and having my own opinions; for making decisions based on my wants and needs; for being just like you.
I expect you to be the friends and family that I hold so near to my heart. Listen to me. Laugh with me. Cry with me. Talk with me. Love with me.
I am placing my trust in you.

Thought for the day

Sometimes you just have to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.
-Dr Phil

Through the lines...

Since I’ve been working on the weekends, I’ve encountered few people that have been a part of my life in one way or another.
I’ve seen several people that I currently work with during the week. Each time, I impulsively explain to them why I am working a second job. I think that part of me is ashamed to be seen there by the people that know me well enough to recognize that the mindless moneymaker is below by credentials and experience. I don’t believe that there is anything wrong with working in a grocery store, but I know that I am far more capable and intelligent than to make a career of it.
One of the first weekends that I was there, I noticed someone that I once worked with going through another line. It was a woman that I had danced with during a time in my life that now feels like one of those dreams that you wake up from and can’t quite remember. This was almost a decade ago. But there she was… firm and trim as ever, with her tiny shorts and tank top, high-heels, a painted face complete with false eyelashes. A small streak of jealousy shot through me, I think because part of me wished that I was still in the shape I was back during that time that I could remember her real name. Then I felt ashamed, both for her and myself. Embarrassed for her because there she was, buying toilet paper, in full "work attire", drawing a lot of attention and funny looks. Ashamed for myself because I use to do the same thing. Maybe that’s part of what happens when you grow up; you are able to feel regret and sympathy for those that do the things you once did.
This weekend one of my favorite teachers came through my line. She was the one to recognize me. She was one of the three instructors during my SLCC time that had the most influence over me, one of the ones I will never forget. She expressed the same spirit that my mother possess, which There are certain people that touch your life in ways that you don’t realize until they are gone. She was such a source encouragement; the passion that she taught her classes with inspired me, and for that I will always be grateful.

Thought for the day

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. -Eddie Cantor

May we all be coffee...

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life
and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as though just as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with
water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a
boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.
She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She
pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the
coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.' 'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the
carrots. She did, and noted that they were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break
it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee...
daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter
then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the
same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became
weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected
its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water,
its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were
in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks
on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?'
Think of this: Which am I?
Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity
do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes
with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the
hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the
water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the
bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do
you elevate yourself to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a
coffee bean?
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you
was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling
and everyone around you is crying.
It's easier to build a child than to repair an adult...
May we all be COFFEE...

Thought for the day

I don't know tha key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. -Bill Cosby

Thought for the day

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere
- Frank A Clark

Thought for the day

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
- Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

Thought for the day

Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

Assumptions

The biggest assumption that humans make is that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. We are afraid to be ourselves around others because we think others will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves.

Karma

"I am the owner of my karma .I inherit my karma.I am born of my karma.I am related to my karma.I live supported by my karma.Whatever karma I create, whether good or evil, that I shall inherit."The Buddha, Anguttara Nikaya V.57 - Upajjhatthana Sutta

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.Watch your words, for they become actions.Watch your actions, for they become habits.Watch your habits, for they become character.Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.Unknown source

"All the suffering of this world arises from a wrong attitude.The world is neither good or bad.It is only the relation to our ego that makes it seem the one or the other."

"Karma is not something complicated or philosophical.Karma means watching your body, watching your mouth, and watching your mind.Trying to keep these three doors as pure as possible is the practice of karma."Lama Thubten Yeshe

From His Holiness the Dalai Lama's book Path to Bliss:"Some people misunderstand the concept of karma. They take the Buddha's doctrine of the law of causality to mean that all is predetermined, that there is nothing that the individual can do. This is a total misunderstanding. The very term karma or action is a term of active force, which indicates that future events are within your own hands. Since action is a phenomenon that is committed by a person, a living being, it is within your own hands whether or not you engage in action."

The fortune cookie says...

"Your dreams are never silly; depend on them to guide you."