I promised a monthly newsletter, so I guess I need to make myself sit down and write although I haven’t been in the mood for the last few weeks. I just feel blah, and am having a hard time documenting all the wonderful things that happened during the last month of the year when I feel so negative.
I’m sure a lot of it has to do with all the winter weather that has bombarded us; I believe the news this morning said we have had a total of 77 inches of snow so far. This means we’ve had a lot of gray and gloomy skies and very little sunshine, and you know the effect that has on me. It’s also resulted in some treacherous driving and very long commutes. Over the next few days the snow is suppose to turn to rain which means we will then have to be cautions of flooding; I noticed today that the Spokane River has already risen just since yesterday.
I’m starting to adjust to our new living arrangement. I haven’t lived with anyone in a very long time; it’s been over ten years since I’ve shared living quarters with someone I’m in a relationship yet. I’m very happy with where Chris and I are in our relationship, but old habits are hard to break, especially when you’re used to doing most everything on your own and your own way. I find it funny that some days all I want is some “me time”, but when I’m away from him, all I do is miss him. We’ve divided up some of the chores so that we’re both doing something that we find the lesser of two evils: I do the laundry since he hates that chore, and he does the dishes since you know how I feel about kitchen duty. He does most of the cooking, but I’m picking up a few kitchen skills so I’m not completely useless. Every other weekend we have Jamie, so I’m adjusting to TWO men that continually leave the toilet seat up and forget to turn of lights and appliances when their done with them. But it’s a small price to pay for finally taking the step forward into family life.
I’m amazed at how much more expensive it is to maintain a household of two people. Money is a constant worry lately. Not only am I overextended on my personal bills, but there are the household bills and expenses. It takes a lot of food to feed a full grown man and a growing boy, and we seem to run out of it a lot. Chris is really creative in whipping things together with leftovers, he makes chili and stew out things that I would normally just go to waste, but a large pot of turkey noodle soup that would feed me for a week only lasts for a meal – maybe two, when there are three people to feed. It just baffles me. I know Chris is pretty stressed about money too. He has his own expenses and I know he is concerned about the extra expenses he will have to share with me in living at the apartment. I don’t think it would be an issue but with the weather being so cold and wet he sometimes misses multiple days of work a week and is not bringing in what he is used to. I would like to take on a 2nd job for a little while, just until I can feel like my feet are back underneath me, but that is a point of contention between us right now. He doesn’t want me to have to work everyday (I think it’s a manly thing where he wants to provide for me) but I don’t want him to be in the least bit responsible for my personal debt. I have a car I can’t afford but can’t get rid of because I owe twice as much as its worth, 2 student loans, and then the growing amount I’ve racked up on my credit cards – he shouldn’t have to worry about my responsibilities. I’ll figure something out, I always do, but the pressure to keep the wolves from the door is making me miserable right now.
All this stress has turned me into a hideous monster – at least in my eyes. My skin is horrible; I seem to have a new break out everyday. My hair looks dry and stringy. I’m tempted to cut it all off, the only thing that’s keeping me from doing so is the fact that it’s the longest I’ve been able to grow it since I was little girl and I can’t bear the thought of starting over again. I feel fat and puffy; I weight more than I ever have in my life. All in all I look in the mirror every day and cringe. My period is more than a week late this month, but I have a feeling it’s just due to stress.
OK. Now that I’ve gotten out all – or at least most- of what’s been bothering me I’ll try to lighten up a little.
It’s been a week since I wrote the above portion, and my memory of the month is quickly fading so I’ll try to put down all the major points before they’ve completely disappeared.
I’ve debated on if I should write this down or not, worrying about hurt feelings. But it’s about hurt feelings – my hurt feelings, and I feel like it’s important for me to express how I felt. When I read the email stating that you had gotten married, I broke down and cried. I was saddened that I wasn’t able to be there with you, but took solace in the fact that you were on the other side of the planet, and it would have been impossible for me to have been there. For months I had a feeling that you and Doug would soon make it official, but I guess I had always imagined that in some way you would want me to be a part of it. I was heart broken when you told me that you’d actually done it before you’d left the country – and then kept it from me. It made me feel that I wasn’t important enough to you to share in the experience or even confide in me. I felt, and still feel that it was a very selfish action. I understand that the action and the ceremony is truly about the two people making the commitment; and it should just be about the two of you, and I truly want you to be happy. But our lives are intertwined, no matter how far apart we are. I wish you would have given me the chance to celebrate with you – even if it was from a distance, be happy for you, process things in my head. But what’s done is done, and although I am still hurt, there is no use dwelling on it. There. I said what I need to – I feel better now.
Christmas was wonderful. I hate to say this, but I think it was the most memorable holiday I’ve had since I was a child. I’ve never been a big fan of the season, I can’t explain why, but depression usually hits me like a brick around Thanksgiving and lasts until after the New Year. But this year I didn’t shed a single tear – except Christmas Eve when I opened Chris’s gift. We were all very spoiled, we got more than we need, and now I’m worried about the money that was spent, but since it was essentially my first Christmas, and Chris’s first one in a while I guess it’s alright that we overdid ourselves.
Well, I have lots more to say, but it belongs to another post, so I’m going to say goodbye for now.
Showing posts with label General. Show all posts
Showing posts with label General. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, December 1, 2008
Newsletter: November 2008
Another month has come and went, I can’t believe how time flies.
This month was filled with ups and downs, but I guess most usually are. It started with being able to watch history take place as the first African-American President was elected. I was unable to register in time to vote, but Obama would have been my choice, so I couldn’t have been happier. I’ve heard many say that they are now afraid of what’s to come, but I think that either of the candidates would have a long, tough road ahead of them to straighten out the country’s future.
I’ve also attended church a few times with Chris and his family. I appreciate and enjoy the community environment, but I still have reservations regarding organized religion, so sitting through the services is sometimes difficult. This church is based on their belief in the bible, and that it was written as a history; whereas I believe that it is more or less a book of stories written to inspire and teach morals and values in their telling. Also, I have an issue at the commercialization of the services – I swear that once they asked us to take out our wallets three times in the span of an hour. Chris and I have discussed trying out a few different churches to see if we can find one that we are both more comfortable with.
Little Annie Pants has been making “puddles”. She seems to do it when I have been away for more than a day & she needs some attention. I am going to refill my pheromone diffuser and see if that helps, and I’ve been putting all the things that she likes to mark (pillows, blankets, etc…) put away when I’m not there – that seems to help. I also think things will improve once Chris moves in and I’m not gone every other night. Last week Annie swept her tail over one of my candles and singed half of her hair off. It didn’t hurt her, in fact she didn’t even notice it, but it really stunk up the bedroom.
The last week of the month was an expensive and emotional one. I hit a curb and destroyed one of my tires. Because Olivia is all-wheel drive, you can’t just replace one tire, you have to – as stated in my warranty and owner’s manual replace ALL FOUR. Which of course, I can’t afford. Luckily, I was able to do 90 day’s same as cash financing – or not so lucky when you consider the financial disaster I’m already in – and I’m hoping I can pay it of with my tax return. That same day I got my first collection call for my condo. I’ve been expecting it, but it was still like a blow to the head. Chris played the role of the hero and got on the phone with them – after they had called close to 20 times over the week and told them not to call any more – and they haven’t called since! The day before Thanksgiving I found out my cousin is pregnant and had myself a good cry. I know that if I’m meant to have a baby it will happen when the time is right, but that doesn’t make it any easier when those you know are being blessed with the one thing you truly want.
Thanksgiving was a great day. Lots of good food and family and friends. Our friend Roxy came by with her little girl Dolla, and Rhonda brought Jamie over in the afternoon. The boys have been teaching me how to play video games, and we spent a lot of the day in front to the TV, controllers in hand. Long after my bedtime I head home and let the boys play into the night since I was the only one that had to work the next day. After work, I picked up Jamie’s Christmas present and Chris and I locked ourselves in his room to wrap presents. Afterward we all sat down to play a game of monopoly – it’s probably been 20 years since I’ve done that!
I’m actually really excited for Christmas this year; we’ll have Jamie Christmas Eve night, so we’ll all be together to open gifts in the morning. I can’t wait to see their faces. This weekend I’m getting my first adult Christmas tree. Chris wants to go out and cut our own – I haven’t done that since I was little, but if he ends up working I’ll probably just go and buy one. It’ll be interesting to see what the cats do… I’ll let you know next month how many times the tree gets knocked over.
This month was filled with ups and downs, but I guess most usually are. It started with being able to watch history take place as the first African-American President was elected. I was unable to register in time to vote, but Obama would have been my choice, so I couldn’t have been happier. I’ve heard many say that they are now afraid of what’s to come, but I think that either of the candidates would have a long, tough road ahead of them to straighten out the country’s future.
I’ve also attended church a few times with Chris and his family. I appreciate and enjoy the community environment, but I still have reservations regarding organized religion, so sitting through the services is sometimes difficult. This church is based on their belief in the bible, and that it was written as a history; whereas I believe that it is more or less a book of stories written to inspire and teach morals and values in their telling. Also, I have an issue at the commercialization of the services – I swear that once they asked us to take out our wallets three times in the span of an hour. Chris and I have discussed trying out a few different churches to see if we can find one that we are both more comfortable with.
Little Annie Pants has been making “puddles”. She seems to do it when I have been away for more than a day & she needs some attention. I am going to refill my pheromone diffuser and see if that helps, and I’ve been putting all the things that she likes to mark (pillows, blankets, etc…) put away when I’m not there – that seems to help. I also think things will improve once Chris moves in and I’m not gone every other night. Last week Annie swept her tail over one of my candles and singed half of her hair off. It didn’t hurt her, in fact she didn’t even notice it, but it really stunk up the bedroom.
The last week of the month was an expensive and emotional one. I hit a curb and destroyed one of my tires. Because Olivia is all-wheel drive, you can’t just replace one tire, you have to – as stated in my warranty and owner’s manual replace ALL FOUR. Which of course, I can’t afford. Luckily, I was able to do 90 day’s same as cash financing – or not so lucky when you consider the financial disaster I’m already in – and I’m hoping I can pay it of with my tax return. That same day I got my first collection call for my condo. I’ve been expecting it, but it was still like a blow to the head. Chris played the role of the hero and got on the phone with them – after they had called close to 20 times over the week and told them not to call any more – and they haven’t called since! The day before Thanksgiving I found out my cousin is pregnant and had myself a good cry. I know that if I’m meant to have a baby it will happen when the time is right, but that doesn’t make it any easier when those you know are being blessed with the one thing you truly want.
Thanksgiving was a great day. Lots of good food and family and friends. Our friend Roxy came by with her little girl Dolla, and Rhonda brought Jamie over in the afternoon. The boys have been teaching me how to play video games, and we spent a lot of the day in front to the TV, controllers in hand. Long after my bedtime I head home and let the boys play into the night since I was the only one that had to work the next day. After work, I picked up Jamie’s Christmas present and Chris and I locked ourselves in his room to wrap presents. Afterward we all sat down to play a game of monopoly – it’s probably been 20 years since I’ve done that!
I’m actually really excited for Christmas this year; we’ll have Jamie Christmas Eve night, so we’ll all be together to open gifts in the morning. I can’t wait to see their faces. This weekend I’m getting my first adult Christmas tree. Chris wants to go out and cut our own – I haven’t done that since I was little, but if he ends up working I’ll probably just go and buy one. It’ll be interesting to see what the cats do… I’ll let you know next month how many times the tree gets knocked over.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Newsletter: October 2008
This is for you mom!
Today is gray and gloom; I guess that makes it the perfect weather for Halloween. Tonight I will be playing the role of the adult while Chris and Jamie go trick or treating. Chris is very excited to spend the holiday with his son; it’s the first one they’ve spent together on four years.
The first of the month marked the one year anniversary of the day Chris and I met. We celebrated by going to dinner; I gave him a new watch; he gave me a silver & diamond locket. It was a good night although it was marked by moments of my on-going depression.
In September I ran out of my anti-depressants. I was waiting until my new insurance came into effect to get a new prescription. I shouldn’t have waited so long. The result was the worst case of the blues I’ve ever experienced. I scared myself almost to death when I started thinking of ending my life. I’ve had plenty of times when I’ve thought “I just don’t want to do this anymore”, but this was the first time I’ve actually started planning how I could go about it. Don’t worry! I’m feeling much better now; I’m back on my medication and I found a new therapist.
Chris has proven himself over and over again to me through my emotional upheaval. I can’t tell you the number of times he’s just held me and let me cry. Or how many times he’s asked me how I’m doing only to hear me say “Not so good”, and accepts the fact that I can’t explain why.
On my birthday he showed up on my doorstep with a tiny chocolate cake and candles. I went to Church with the entire family; the first time I’ve attended a service on over 10 years. I can’t honestly tell you what I thought about the service; I was uptight and tense and I cried through most of it, with Chris’s reassuring arm around me. Afterward, Ken and Carolyn took us out to eat at the Olive Garden, where I preceded to drink too much wine. This of course means that I don’t remember much of the fist night that Chris stayed over at the apartment. But it really was a good day, I didn’t spend my birthday alone.
The rest of the month has flown by. Work, sleep, work, sleep. I’ve seen a doctor to get my medications, went to the OBGYN to check my plumbing, and found a therapist that I think I like, so I guess I’ve getting things under control.
I’ll let you know what happens next month….
Today is gray and gloom; I guess that makes it the perfect weather for Halloween. Tonight I will be playing the role of the adult while Chris and Jamie go trick or treating. Chris is very excited to spend the holiday with his son; it’s the first one they’ve spent together on four years.
The first of the month marked the one year anniversary of the day Chris and I met. We celebrated by going to dinner; I gave him a new watch; he gave me a silver & diamond locket. It was a good night although it was marked by moments of my on-going depression.
In September I ran out of my anti-depressants. I was waiting until my new insurance came into effect to get a new prescription. I shouldn’t have waited so long. The result was the worst case of the blues I’ve ever experienced. I scared myself almost to death when I started thinking of ending my life. I’ve had plenty of times when I’ve thought “I just don’t want to do this anymore”, but this was the first time I’ve actually started planning how I could go about it. Don’t worry! I’m feeling much better now; I’m back on my medication and I found a new therapist.
Chris has proven himself over and over again to me through my emotional upheaval. I can’t tell you the number of times he’s just held me and let me cry. Or how many times he’s asked me how I’m doing only to hear me say “Not so good”, and accepts the fact that I can’t explain why.
On my birthday he showed up on my doorstep with a tiny chocolate cake and candles. I went to Church with the entire family; the first time I’ve attended a service on over 10 years. I can’t honestly tell you what I thought about the service; I was uptight and tense and I cried through most of it, with Chris’s reassuring arm around me. Afterward, Ken and Carolyn took us out to eat at the Olive Garden, where I preceded to drink too much wine. This of course means that I don’t remember much of the fist night that Chris stayed over at the apartment. But it really was a good day, I didn’t spend my birthday alone.
The rest of the month has flown by. Work, sleep, work, sleep. I’ve seen a doctor to get my medications, went to the OBGYN to check my plumbing, and found a therapist that I think I like, so I guess I’ve getting things under control.
I’ll let you know what happens next month….
Friday, September 5, 2008
4 months
I haven’t done very well at keeping my promise to keep my website updated, have I? I’ve been up here for four months now, and this is the first time I’ve written. Life rolls on and takes up every second of everyday, no matter where you are.
I’m re-writing this because Chris gave his review of what I had so far, and thought that – as he put it, “its bullshit”. Of course, I’d only started writing it, and he hadn’t seen the direction I was going with, but I decided that it would probably be easier recap what my life has been like the last four months from the beginning, rather than work my way backwards, as I was doing.
Life is the same, but different in many ways up here. I work; I sleep; I read; I spend time with the cats; I worry about money. Same as always. (This is the part that Chris didn’t like – he emphatically states that my life is NOT the same – and I agree). What I was trying to do was contrast the differences and similarities between my life now and then... but that proved to take too much time, and I wasn’t really saying what I was meaning to, so I’m just going to type and see what I end up saying…
On May 2nd I said goodbye to my job and all my friends; I packed up my desk and closed the very long chapter of my life that had been ARUP. A few hours later I picked up Chris from the airport (his first flight ever!), gave him a quick tour of Salt Lake City, and took him home to introduce him to the “kids”. The next day we got up and ran some errands, picked up the truck and started loading up my life with the help of a few friends that were kind enough to help lift heavy objects. By late that afternoon, everything I own had been loaded into a very large Budget truck, and I left Utah forever. Myself, three cats, and a very cranky Chris (driving that big truck did not make him happy) spent the night somewhere in Southern Idaho, and then headed for Coeur D Alene in the morning. One we got there, the plan was for the cats and myself to stay in a motel until Monday morning so I could go sign my lease –but that idea flew out the window when I burst into tears with a panic attack when I realized that I was completely lost in a new city. Chris took me home to his parent’s and the two of us, and three fuzzy bodies hid in his small room for a very sleepless night.
I signed my lease on Monday, and was completely moved in my Tuesday. I had one week to get myself settled and organized before I started my new job on May 12th.
My new job… now that was an experience. I caught onto the work really quickly, and since I had prior laboratory knowledge, I got very little training. My supervisor left a copy of my doctor’s note on the copy machine for everyone to see, then just laughed about it when I told her. I got along well with a few of the girls, but otherwise felt like I was an unwelcome addition to the team. I didn’t feel like I was part of the team, and the fact that I wasn’t a permanent employee made me feel worthless and unappreciated. So I took the first opportunity I had to accept a full time (permanent) position in a department that I feel like I belong in. I get to deal with my friend in Utah everyday and I genuinely like spending time with the people I work with.
The first month I was here there was a lot of family drama. Chris’s brother was arrested on some pretty nasty charges, and it basically torn the family apart. Things have calmed down now, but there is still a trial looming, so I pray for the best possible outcome for this family that I have come to think of as my own.
Speaking of family, I was able to see almost all of mine when Chris and I went to my family reunion at the end of June. It was the first time I’d seen many of them in several years so most of them were basically strangers, but I got to spend time with my mom and grandma, and that made the whole trip worthwhile. What made it even better was the fact that I had Chris with me. It’s the first time in my life that I have someone that is not only willing to go to such a family function with me, but one that I am proud to introduce to the ones I love as the one I love.
I’m getting to know Chris’s 14 year old son. He’s a good kid, well – he’s 14 – so I guess for a 14 years old he’s a good kid. Since I met him four months ago his voice has started to change. I only see him every week or two, but each time his voice is lower, and lower. It’ll be interesting to see how he changes as he gets bigger; I think he looks a lot like his mother, maybe he’ll start to resemble Chris. Rhonda, Jamie’s mom and Chris’s ex, is a great lady. She and Chris get along great, so we all spend a lot of time together. She’s the only girlfriend I have so far up here.
Well, I’m starting to run out of steam here… not much else to talk about. You’d think I could write more than just a few paragraphs with as much time as I’ve had, wouldn’t you?
I’m re-writing this because Chris gave his review of what I had so far, and thought that – as he put it, “its bullshit”. Of course, I’d only started writing it, and he hadn’t seen the direction I was going with, but I decided that it would probably be easier recap what my life has been like the last four months from the beginning, rather than work my way backwards, as I was doing.
Life is the same, but different in many ways up here. I work; I sleep; I read; I spend time with the cats; I worry about money. Same as always. (This is the part that Chris didn’t like – he emphatically states that my life is NOT the same – and I agree). What I was trying to do was contrast the differences and similarities between my life now and then... but that proved to take too much time, and I wasn’t really saying what I was meaning to, so I’m just going to type and see what I end up saying…
On May 2nd I said goodbye to my job and all my friends; I packed up my desk and closed the very long chapter of my life that had been ARUP. A few hours later I picked up Chris from the airport (his first flight ever!), gave him a quick tour of Salt Lake City, and took him home to introduce him to the “kids”. The next day we got up and ran some errands, picked up the truck and started loading up my life with the help of a few friends that were kind enough to help lift heavy objects. By late that afternoon, everything I own had been loaded into a very large Budget truck, and I left Utah forever. Myself, three cats, and a very cranky Chris (driving that big truck did not make him happy) spent the night somewhere in Southern Idaho, and then headed for Coeur D Alene in the morning. One we got there, the plan was for the cats and myself to stay in a motel until Monday morning so I could go sign my lease –but that idea flew out the window when I burst into tears with a panic attack when I realized that I was completely lost in a new city. Chris took me home to his parent’s and the two of us, and three fuzzy bodies hid in his small room for a very sleepless night.
I signed my lease on Monday, and was completely moved in my Tuesday. I had one week to get myself settled and organized before I started my new job on May 12th.
My new job… now that was an experience. I caught onto the work really quickly, and since I had prior laboratory knowledge, I got very little training. My supervisor left a copy of my doctor’s note on the copy machine for everyone to see, then just laughed about it when I told her. I got along well with a few of the girls, but otherwise felt like I was an unwelcome addition to the team. I didn’t feel like I was part of the team, and the fact that I wasn’t a permanent employee made me feel worthless and unappreciated. So I took the first opportunity I had to accept a full time (permanent) position in a department that I feel like I belong in. I get to deal with my friend in Utah everyday and I genuinely like spending time with the people I work with.
The first month I was here there was a lot of family drama. Chris’s brother was arrested on some pretty nasty charges, and it basically torn the family apart. Things have calmed down now, but there is still a trial looming, so I pray for the best possible outcome for this family that I have come to think of as my own.
Speaking of family, I was able to see almost all of mine when Chris and I went to my family reunion at the end of June. It was the first time I’d seen many of them in several years so most of them were basically strangers, but I got to spend time with my mom and grandma, and that made the whole trip worthwhile. What made it even better was the fact that I had Chris with me. It’s the first time in my life that I have someone that is not only willing to go to such a family function with me, but one that I am proud to introduce to the ones I love as the one I love.
I’m getting to know Chris’s 14 year old son. He’s a good kid, well – he’s 14 – so I guess for a 14 years old he’s a good kid. Since I met him four months ago his voice has started to change. I only see him every week or two, but each time his voice is lower, and lower. It’ll be interesting to see how he changes as he gets bigger; I think he looks a lot like his mother, maybe he’ll start to resemble Chris. Rhonda, Jamie’s mom and Chris’s ex, is a great lady. She and Chris get along great, so we all spend a lot of time together. She’s the only girlfriend I have so far up here.
Well, I’m starting to run out of steam here… not much else to talk about. You’d think I could write more than just a few paragraphs with as much time as I’ve had, wouldn’t you?
Monday, January 28, 2008
Friday, December 14, 2007
Grandma’s okay
I spoke with her this afternoon. She had just got home from the hospital, and was going to bed. She sound like she was in good spirits. I’ll keep you updated as I learn more…
Friday, November 30, 2007
Round is a shape… but not the shape I want to be…
Due to the fact that I’m lazy, unmotivated, tend to eat a lot of junk, and all of these things have been compounded due to my poor health, I have recently become very unhappy with the roundness that is enveloping my body. In a three-week period, I gained 8 pounds! This motivated me to join the department’s team for the company’s "Biggest Loser" competition.
Here is my progress so far:
Starting weight: Friday 11/23/07: 152 lbs. (yikes!)
Week 1: Friday 11/30/07: weight 147.2 lbs.
I’m not proudly displaying these numbers, because there was a time when I was barely 120 lbs. & in the best shape of my life. Yes, I know I’m not 21 anymore, but the 33-year-old remembers the body I used to have… I’m putting this up because I want to show my progress & I can use all the support I can get.
Here is my progress so far:
Starting weight: Friday 11/23/07: 152 lbs. (yikes!)
Week 1: Friday 11/30/07: weight 147.2 lbs.
I’m not proudly displaying these numbers, because there was a time when I was barely 120 lbs. & in the best shape of my life. Yes, I know I’m not 21 anymore, but the 33-year-old remembers the body I used to have… I’m putting this up because I want to show my progress & I can use all the support I can get.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Dear Mr. President
I heard the greatest song today! It's one where Pink is voicing her opinion about the state of out nation, one that I share. As you know, I am not a fan of our "leader", I think he's done alot of damage to this wonderful country, and I will be releived when, a year from now, that he is removed from office. I read a bumper sticker the other day that said "Clinton ruined a dress, Bush ruined a nation".
Dear Mr. President,
Come take a walk with me.
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me.
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.
What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?
How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why?
Dear Mr. President,
Were you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
How can you say
No child is left behind?
We're not dumb and we're not blind.
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell.
What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.
How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye?
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing 'bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
Oh
How do you sleep at night?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Dear Mr. President,
You'd never take a walk with me.
Would you?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Through my fingers...
Today I received my checks for my refinance. $14,000! I held that much in my hand for about the period of an hour. I paid off all of my credit cards and small loans, which does make me feel better about my financial situation, but it was horrific to hold that much money in my hands and know that I can't do anything fun with it.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Attention Shoppers!
Here is some friendly advice that may improve your grocery shopping experience:
If you feel that it is not necessary to assert proper hygiene practices to buy groceries, please remember that although your sense of smell may be disabled, those you come into contact with may not appreciate you personal aroma.
It is in no way, shape or form acceptable to touch your friendly neighborhood grocery associate. While friendliness is a job requirement, it is not an invitation to embrace, slap, grab, or initiate any sort of physical contact.
If you choose to bring young children to the store, and are unable to keep them under control, please remember that we sell, duct tape and dog leashes.
If your infant child is shattering the pickle jars with it’s ear piercing wail, please do not continue with your shopping; leave your cart where it is and comfort your child in a location that will not inflict permanent hearing loss on complete strangers.
Please do not allow your child to remain in the cart during checkout if:
You are going to hover over the cashier to ensure that your child is not price checked, scanned, and bagged.
You can not insure that your cashier will not have to play tug-of-war with the merchandise.
You expect your cashier to be a babysitter; there is an additional charge for this service.
Your child finds it amusing to rock the cart, causing it to crash into your cashier’s legs. There is a $20 charge for each bruise that is inflicted.
Remember that not all of us are lucky enough to know a foreign language.
Although there is no prerequisite dress code for customers, please keep in mind:
Short short/skirts should not be worn by anyone over 20
Underwear was not intended to be seen
Pants have waistbands for a reason
Low-rise jeans were not made to store excess baggage
Skinny jeans look funny on men
Bras were made to be worn
Electric shopping carts are not amusement park rides
Isles were made for two-lane traffic. If you block both lanes you will receive a ticket.
Checks are obsolete. The debit/credit card slider is not your enemy.
Thank you for your time and cooperation.
- The Management
Monday, August 20, 2007
A series of unfortunate events...
So… I’ve had a number of mishaps over the last few days that I’d thought I should share.
Thursday morning the light bulb burnt out in my bathroom, and of course, I didn’t have any spares, so I had to shower in the dark.
Thursday night, I got home – really had to use the bathroom, and found that I had locked myself out – probably hit the lock while in the dark. So in a panic, I grabbed a screwdriver and removed the hinges – still couldn’t get it open. I found a paperclip, and unlocked the door (after all of the effort with the hinges).
Friday I went shopping and forgot light bulbs. I ended up taking one from a lamp I rarely use. So I get the bathroom put back together – the door back on it’s hinges and now I have light!
Friday night I was watching a movie and I hear a loud crash coming from the bathroom – apparently I didn’t secure the light cover securely enough, so now I have shards of glass all over the floor.
I cut my hand while cleaning it all up.
Saturday I found that I didn’t get all of the tiny pieces of glass picked up when I stepped out of the shower and cut my foot.
Sunday at work the day started out with me dropping a bottle of salsa all over the floor. Glass and muck everywhere.
About an hour later I broke my register. (Ok, I know I didn’t break it, but it broke while I was working on it)
So they move me to a new register, and I pick up a six-pack of beer and tear my thumb open on one of the caps.
And by the end of the night I had torn two of my fingernails down to the quick.
Then this morning I woke to find a terrible small in my house. I couldn’t find the source of it anywhere – until I stuck my hand in it. One of the fuzz-balls had an accident, and tried to cover it up with a shoebox lid. In the course of discovering it, not only did I stick my hand in it, but succeeded in smearing it all over the carpet.
It all just makes me shake my head a laugh – a combination of clumsiness and bad luck that has hopefully run its course!
Thursday morning the light bulb burnt out in my bathroom, and of course, I didn’t have any spares, so I had to shower in the dark.
Thursday night, I got home – really had to use the bathroom, and found that I had locked myself out – probably hit the lock while in the dark. So in a panic, I grabbed a screwdriver and removed the hinges – still couldn’t get it open. I found a paperclip, and unlocked the door (after all of the effort with the hinges).
Friday I went shopping and forgot light bulbs. I ended up taking one from a lamp I rarely use. So I get the bathroom put back together – the door back on it’s hinges and now I have light!
Friday night I was watching a movie and I hear a loud crash coming from the bathroom – apparently I didn’t secure the light cover securely enough, so now I have shards of glass all over the floor.
I cut my hand while cleaning it all up.
Saturday I found that I didn’t get all of the tiny pieces of glass picked up when I stepped out of the shower and cut my foot.
Sunday at work the day started out with me dropping a bottle of salsa all over the floor. Glass and muck everywhere.
About an hour later I broke my register. (Ok, I know I didn’t break it, but it broke while I was working on it)
So they move me to a new register, and I pick up a six-pack of beer and tear my thumb open on one of the caps.
And by the end of the night I had torn two of my fingernails down to the quick.
Then this morning I woke to find a terrible small in my house. I couldn’t find the source of it anywhere – until I stuck my hand in it. One of the fuzz-balls had an accident, and tried to cover it up with a shoebox lid. In the course of discovering it, not only did I stick my hand in it, but succeeded in smearing it all over the carpet.
It all just makes me shake my head a laugh – a combination of clumsiness and bad luck that has hopefully run its course!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
So much to catch up on!
I haven’t had a chance to sit down and write in a while, not because I don’t have a lot to say, I just haven’t had a lot of time – the little free time that I have had I would much rather spend doing something else. So instead of posting several different posts, I’m just going to put it all into one large one, so please bare with me! Here we go….
Mom’s out of the country again. She and Doug went up to Canada to visit some friends. She’ll only be gone for about a week, so I should be great full that it’s just a short trip. But I miss talking to her. It’s generally a daily occurrence, so I feel a little lonely when I want to hear her voice, but can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy for her (as well as a little envious) that she now has the opportunity to travel and do all the things that probably seemed unimaginable to her for so long. I just miss her so much when she’s abroad.
I’ll be switching to my new hours on Monday. I’m excited and sad at the same time. With the exception of one person, I really like my team, and the thought that I will only be sitting with them for one more day really makes me sad. It’s not as though I won’t see these people with my new shift, but I won’t be working closely with them, and I know the bonds that we have formed will eventually disappear. But I'm excited to go back to the evening shift. The hours suit me better – you know how I hate mornings! Also, the hours actually allow me to make appointments and get things done that I either couldn’t, or would have to schedule time off for because the 9-5 shift doesn’t leave much lee-way to do things to go to the bank, go to the doctor, etc. because they are only open during the hours I’m stuck at work. I’m a little apprehensive about taking on a new team, but I’m sure we will all get used to each other.
My new part-time job has thus far cost me more than I have earned. I get my first check tomorrow, which will be pretty small since it only has about 16 hours on it, plus they will be deducting the cost of my pretty green Harmons shirt I have to wear. Other than that expense, I had to order a special "invisible" nose ring that I can keep in while I’m working, since they have a no-facial piercing policy, and it just hurts too much to take it out and put it back in again. The price wasn’t bad for that – I think I actually spent more for express shipping than I did for the jewelry. But the thing that really hurt was the shoes. I have two pairs of really comfortable shoes; a pair of white New Balance runners, and a pair of brown Sketchers. Unfortunately, the dress code requires black shoes – and I own no comfortable black shoes – at least not ones that are comfortable enough to make it through 8 hours of being on your feet. So I went on a quest to find a good pair of shoes. Went to four different stores. Everything that I found that I liked weren’t available in my size. The things that I did find in my size were either really ugly of didn’t have enough support. So I broke down and went to REI – they had the shoes I wanted, and in my size. Unfortunately they were $70 more than I had, but I ended up getting them (that’s what overdraft is for, right?). And they’re worth it – they are the most comfortable things I’ve ever worn, plus they’re real leather, and the brand is famous for its comfort and durability. Still, it freaks me out because I’ve never spent that much on a pair of shoes!
We finally got some rain! It had been over a month since we’ve had any precipitation. I was so excited last night when it started to pour that I ran outside and just stood there getting soaked. Then I got cold and came back in. Probably wasn’t the best idea since they had been announcing sever thunderstorm warnings and advising everyone to stay inside. But it felt wonderful!
Well, I think I should post what I have written so far, and finish up later...
Mom’s out of the country again. She and Doug went up to Canada to visit some friends. She’ll only be gone for about a week, so I should be great full that it’s just a short trip. But I miss talking to her. It’s generally a daily occurrence, so I feel a little lonely when I want to hear her voice, but can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy for her (as well as a little envious) that she now has the opportunity to travel and do all the things that probably seemed unimaginable to her for so long. I just miss her so much when she’s abroad.
I’ll be switching to my new hours on Monday. I’m excited and sad at the same time. With the exception of one person, I really like my team, and the thought that I will only be sitting with them for one more day really makes me sad. It’s not as though I won’t see these people with my new shift, but I won’t be working closely with them, and I know the bonds that we have formed will eventually disappear. But I'm excited to go back to the evening shift. The hours suit me better – you know how I hate mornings! Also, the hours actually allow me to make appointments and get things done that I either couldn’t, or would have to schedule time off for because the 9-5 shift doesn’t leave much lee-way to do things to go to the bank, go to the doctor, etc. because they are only open during the hours I’m stuck at work. I’m a little apprehensive about taking on a new team, but I’m sure we will all get used to each other.
My new part-time job has thus far cost me more than I have earned. I get my first check tomorrow, which will be pretty small since it only has about 16 hours on it, plus they will be deducting the cost of my pretty green Harmons shirt I have to wear. Other than that expense, I had to order a special "invisible" nose ring that I can keep in while I’m working, since they have a no-facial piercing policy, and it just hurts too much to take it out and put it back in again. The price wasn’t bad for that – I think I actually spent more for express shipping than I did for the jewelry. But the thing that really hurt was the shoes. I have two pairs of really comfortable shoes; a pair of white New Balance runners, and a pair of brown Sketchers. Unfortunately, the dress code requires black shoes – and I own no comfortable black shoes – at least not ones that are comfortable enough to make it through 8 hours of being on your feet. So I went on a quest to find a good pair of shoes. Went to four different stores. Everything that I found that I liked weren’t available in my size. The things that I did find in my size were either really ugly of didn’t have enough support. So I broke down and went to REI – they had the shoes I wanted, and in my size. Unfortunately they were $70 more than I had, but I ended up getting them (that’s what overdraft is for, right?). And they’re worth it – they are the most comfortable things I’ve ever worn, plus they’re real leather, and the brand is famous for its comfort and durability. Still, it freaks me out because I’ve never spent that much on a pair of shoes!
We finally got some rain! It had been over a month since we’ve had any precipitation. I was so excited last night when it started to pour that I ran outside and just stood there getting soaked. Then I got cold and came back in. Probably wasn’t the best idea since they had been announcing sever thunderstorm warnings and advising everyone to stay inside. But it felt wonderful!
Well, I think I should post what I have written so far, and finish up later...
Monday, June 18, 2007
What the Bleep Do We Know?
As part of the "journey" I have embarked on, it was suggested that I watch the above-mentioned movie. It’s kind of a documentary about quantum physics and the effect that our attitudes and beliefs have on our bodies. It’s a very interesting movie, but not something you’d watch for entertainment’s sake. I’ve decide to share some of the quote, questions, and other information that this movie presents…
Have you ever seen yourself through the eyes of someone you have become?
The real trick to life in not to be in the "know", but to be in the mystery.
The brain does not know the difference between what it sees and what it remembers.
The only movie that is playing inside our brains is what we have the ability to see.
We can not see the things we have no knowledge of.
We choose our experiences; therefore we create our reality.
Addiction is the feeling of a chemical rush that has cascaded through our body.
"You live in the past. Everything with you is about what happened. You have too many memories clouding your vision."
God is the embodiment of the spirit of all things everywhere.
The brain does not know the difference between what it feels and what it remembers.
The concept of love is stored in a vast neuro-network. We build the concept of love from many different ideas. Some people have love connected to disappointment. When they think about love, they experience the memory of pain, sorrow, anger, and even rage. Rage may be linked to hurt which may be linked to a specific person which then is connected back to love.
We tell ourselves a story about what the outside world is.
Any information that we take in is always colored by an experience that we’ve had and an emotional response.
Emotions aren’t good. Emotions aren’t bad. Emotions are designed to reinforce chemically something into long-term memory.
There is a chemical made in our bodies that matches every emotion we feel.
The cell is the smallest unit of consciousness in the body.
If you can’t control the condition of your emotional state that means you must be addicted to it.
"So, how can anyone say they’re in love with a specific person? They’re only in love with the anticipation of feeling the emotions they’re addicted to. The same person could fall out of favor the next week by not complying."
We are emotions and emotions are us. Emotions are life. They color the richness of our experience. It’s our addictions that are the problem. Addiction to emotions aren’t just psychological, they’re biochemical. Heroin uses the same cell receptors that our emotions use, so it’s easy to see how we can become addicted to any emotion.
After years of emotional abuse on our cells, they become unable to absorb the needed vitamins and minerals they need, or expel toxins and waste.
Our thoughts and emotions affect our bodies.
A lot of problems that are labeled as psychological are simply a culmination of bad choices. People need to be instructed on how to make different choices.
Have you ever seen yourself through the eyes of someone you have become?
The real trick to life in not to be in the "know", but to be in the mystery.
The brain does not know the difference between what it sees and what it remembers.
The only movie that is playing inside our brains is what we have the ability to see.
We can not see the things we have no knowledge of.
We choose our experiences; therefore we create our reality.
Addiction is the feeling of a chemical rush that has cascaded through our body.
"You live in the past. Everything with you is about what happened. You have too many memories clouding your vision."
God is the embodiment of the spirit of all things everywhere.
The brain does not know the difference between what it feels and what it remembers.
The concept of love is stored in a vast neuro-network. We build the concept of love from many different ideas. Some people have love connected to disappointment. When they think about love, they experience the memory of pain, sorrow, anger, and even rage. Rage may be linked to hurt which may be linked to a specific person which then is connected back to love.
We tell ourselves a story about what the outside world is.
Any information that we take in is always colored by an experience that we’ve had and an emotional response.
Emotions aren’t good. Emotions aren’t bad. Emotions are designed to reinforce chemically something into long-term memory.
There is a chemical made in our bodies that matches every emotion we feel.
The cell is the smallest unit of consciousness in the body.
If you can’t control the condition of your emotional state that means you must be addicted to it.
"So, how can anyone say they’re in love with a specific person? They’re only in love with the anticipation of feeling the emotions they’re addicted to. The same person could fall out of favor the next week by not complying."
We are emotions and emotions are us. Emotions are life. They color the richness of our experience. It’s our addictions that are the problem. Addiction to emotions aren’t just psychological, they’re biochemical. Heroin uses the same cell receptors that our emotions use, so it’s easy to see how we can become addicted to any emotion.
After years of emotional abuse on our cells, they become unable to absorb the needed vitamins and minerals they need, or expel toxins and waste.
Our thoughts and emotions affect our bodies.
A lot of problems that are labeled as psychological are simply a culmination of bad choices. People need to be instructed on how to make different choices.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
poems by Tony Erikson
oh wah ta jer ki'am
written 03-19-94
what is wrong in my mind
that i think
perhaps not every person i trust
is going to screw me
maybe i'm just naive
as a matter of fact i am
i'm trying to please everyone
except myself
so what's the problem
is it you
is it me
i don't make the rules
should i really care who does
i'm not being unreasonable
maybe a little
not much
not taking much stock
in appearances and such
i live for the day when i don't have anyone to impress
i can be my own person and it's alright
i can think how i want to
i can be who i am
but who am i
i'm not rational
i'm a putz
it's all a big blur and i think
oh what a jerk i am
loving intoxication
written 03-19-94
a grandiose thought though never conceived
a fluid motion thought never retrieved
a walk through my mind i never believed
in any situation i ever achieved
i brought in a butterfly covered in time
by a thick layer of warmth almost divine
why do the moments go running away
like so many cowboys pitch-forking hay
wandering through the fields that coat my mind
i find little words
that sum up every thought i ever anticipate having
and every situation i've ever been in
isn’t it peculiar that i want everything
i long for everything that i know that i cannot have
everything i may never have
sit awhile and hear my ramblings
you may learn something you thought you could not
true i may be impaired
i may be quite lost
but never have i felt so free to express all the feelings i feel
just me
so maybe you will know before i die
all the things that i think
or maybe i'm just drunk and not quite worthy of your praise
but i really don't care
do i
i love all the feelings i'm having
so is it a sin that i feel what i'm feeling
oh fuck it you win.
angry and alone
written 02-18-94
another day
no word
greedy self pity
reciprocated coldness
youthful rebellion
anyone hear me
no one cares
don't blame them
another day
lonely
overstepping reason
nightmares of the weak
emptiness remains
written 03-19-94
what is wrong in my mind
that i think
perhaps not every person i trust
is going to screw me
maybe i'm just naive
as a matter of fact i am
i'm trying to please everyone
except myself
so what's the problem
is it you
is it me
i don't make the rules
should i really care who does
i'm not being unreasonable
maybe a little
not much
not taking much stock
in appearances and such
i live for the day when i don't have anyone to impress
i can be my own person and it's alright
i can think how i want to
i can be who i am
but who am i
i'm not rational
i'm a putz
it's all a big blur and i think
oh what a jerk i am
loving intoxication
written 03-19-94
a grandiose thought though never conceived
a fluid motion thought never retrieved
a walk through my mind i never believed
in any situation i ever achieved
i brought in a butterfly covered in time
by a thick layer of warmth almost divine
why do the moments go running away
like so many cowboys pitch-forking hay
wandering through the fields that coat my mind
i find little words
that sum up every thought i ever anticipate having
and every situation i've ever been in
isn’t it peculiar that i want everything
i long for everything that i know that i cannot have
everything i may never have
sit awhile and hear my ramblings
you may learn something you thought you could not
true i may be impaired
i may be quite lost
but never have i felt so free to express all the feelings i feel
just me
so maybe you will know before i die
all the things that i think
or maybe i'm just drunk and not quite worthy of your praise
but i really don't care
do i
i love all the feelings i'm having
so is it a sin that i feel what i'm feeling
oh fuck it you win.
angry and alone
written 02-18-94
another day
no word
greedy self pity
reciprocated coldness
youthful rebellion
anyone hear me
no one cares
don't blame them
another day
lonely
overstepping reason
nightmares of the weak
emptiness remains
Monday, June 4, 2007
So Now You Know
I’m a big Jeff Anderson fan, and this weekend I re-watched his movie with the above-mentioned title. There are two scenes that contain dialog that really strike a cord (where does that expression come from, anyway – and what does it really mean?) with me…
"Guys and girls are just two different animals. Cats and dogs, if you will. Guys are like dogs – not too bright, like to ride in cars, and they hump anyone’s leg two seconds after they meet them. Girls are like the cats – mysterious, kind of stand-offish, it takes a long time to win them over, but once you do, they’re all rubbin’ on your leg and purring – showing you the love you. Now – do cats love dogs? For the most part, no. Why? Because they’re two different animals. It’s unnatural. That’s not to say that there aren’t cats and dogs that do get along – but it takes special circumstances. They need to be raised together, or one of them needs to be blind or something…."
"I left because you took me for granted. I left because you didn’t appreciate me – because I was sick of feeling bad about myself because of you. You think that’s pretty ridiculous, don’t you? So did I at first. You keep saying that I’m the one that broke it off – we both know that’s not true. I’m just the one that said it out loud. You were scared? Scared of what? So you’re not cold and callus? You’re just stupid? Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through? Why couldn’t you just share your "big ideas’ with me? Instead you acted indifferent and made me feel like I was living in some fucking dream world! I’ve given you chances, and if you’re asking for another one – the answer is no. Because you lost me long before YOU called if off. When was the last time you brought me flowers? Or sent me love note? Or said ‘I love you’ before I did? I know you love me – and I know flowers and love notes don’t prove that you love someone – but it helps to reassure a person. It tells them that you’re thinking of them – for no reason at all. Now? You’re willing to start doing those things now? Don’t you understand that it’s too late? I don’t want anything from you now."
"Guys and girls are just two different animals. Cats and dogs, if you will. Guys are like dogs – not too bright, like to ride in cars, and they hump anyone’s leg two seconds after they meet them. Girls are like the cats – mysterious, kind of stand-offish, it takes a long time to win them over, but once you do, they’re all rubbin’ on your leg and purring – showing you the love you. Now – do cats love dogs? For the most part, no. Why? Because they’re two different animals. It’s unnatural. That’s not to say that there aren’t cats and dogs that do get along – but it takes special circumstances. They need to be raised together, or one of them needs to be blind or something…."
"I left because you took me for granted. I left because you didn’t appreciate me – because I was sick of feeling bad about myself because of you. You think that’s pretty ridiculous, don’t you? So did I at first. You keep saying that I’m the one that broke it off – we both know that’s not true. I’m just the one that said it out loud. You were scared? Scared of what? So you’re not cold and callus? You’re just stupid? Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through? Why couldn’t you just share your "big ideas’ with me? Instead you acted indifferent and made me feel like I was living in some fucking dream world! I’ve given you chances, and if you’re asking for another one – the answer is no. Because you lost me long before YOU called if off. When was the last time you brought me flowers? Or sent me love note? Or said ‘I love you’ before I did? I know you love me – and I know flowers and love notes don’t prove that you love someone – but it helps to reassure a person. It tells them that you’re thinking of them – for no reason at all. Now? You’re willing to start doing those things now? Don’t you understand that it’s too late? I don’t want anything from you now."
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Kissing Karma
While typing in my new URL, I mistakenly left the blog portion of the address out. What I found was a website for a band from New York named Kissing Karma. Their music isn't exactly my taste, but a worthwhile discovery.
This prompted me to take a moment to explain why I chose the name and title for my new blog. If you know anything about me, you should be aware that I am a firm believer in karma. I believe that all actions that a person makes will somehow make an effect on their future. I believe that every action has a consequence; sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes so subtle that it can go unnoticed, but a consequence none the less. A person's thoughts, words, and actions not only affect their own life, but the world around them. There is an energy all around us; it touches us all. It is acknowledged with differnet names, different deities, differnet languages in most forms of religion and spirituality around the world. It's a simple concept... treat yourself, others, and the earth with respect. Live your life with integrity and dignity. Be willing to accept your mistakes, your short-comings, you flaws, and love yourself not inspite of these things, but because of them. Hold true to what it is that makes you an individual. Accept that life has purpose.
To me, "Kissing Karma" means all of what I have described above. It stands for enbracing life; not giving up when my world seems to be falling apart. It means that I am greatful for the experience. It means that I am greatful and proud to be all that makes me who I am. It means that everything that encompasses the person that I am was achieved not only by my own actions, but the actions, words, and thoughts of all that have touched my life. It means that I accept the responsibility that comes with everything I think, do, and say; as I effect the world as it effects me.
This prompted me to take a moment to explain why I chose the name and title for my new blog. If you know anything about me, you should be aware that I am a firm believer in karma. I believe that all actions that a person makes will somehow make an effect on their future. I believe that every action has a consequence; sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes so subtle that it can go unnoticed, but a consequence none the less. A person's thoughts, words, and actions not only affect their own life, but the world around them. There is an energy all around us; it touches us all. It is acknowledged with differnet names, different deities, differnet languages in most forms of religion and spirituality around the world. It's a simple concept... treat yourself, others, and the earth with respect. Live your life with integrity and dignity. Be willing to accept your mistakes, your short-comings, you flaws, and love yourself not inspite of these things, but because of them. Hold true to what it is that makes you an individual. Accept that life has purpose.
To me, "Kissing Karma" means all of what I have described above. It stands for enbracing life; not giving up when my world seems to be falling apart. It means that I am greatful for the experience. It means that I am greatful and proud to be all that makes me who I am. It means that everything that encompasses the person that I am was achieved not only by my own actions, but the actions, words, and thoughts of all that have touched my life. It means that I accept the responsibility that comes with everything I think, do, and say; as I effect the world as it effects me.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Anniversary
Today is my seven year anniversary working at ARUP. Who knew I had it in me to make such a commitment?
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Namaste
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love, of truth, of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are one.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
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