My boy presenting my very first Christmas tree.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
Newsletter: November 2008
Another month has come and went, I can’t believe how time flies.
This month was filled with ups and downs, but I guess most usually are. It started with being able to watch history take place as the first African-American President was elected. I was unable to register in time to vote, but Obama would have been my choice, so I couldn’t have been happier. I’ve heard many say that they are now afraid of what’s to come, but I think that either of the candidates would have a long, tough road ahead of them to straighten out the country’s future.
I’ve also attended church a few times with Chris and his family. I appreciate and enjoy the community environment, but I still have reservations regarding organized religion, so sitting through the services is sometimes difficult. This church is based on their belief in the bible, and that it was written as a history; whereas I believe that it is more or less a book of stories written to inspire and teach morals and values in their telling. Also, I have an issue at the commercialization of the services – I swear that once they asked us to take out our wallets three times in the span of an hour. Chris and I have discussed trying out a few different churches to see if we can find one that we are both more comfortable with.
Little Annie Pants has been making “puddles”. She seems to do it when I have been away for more than a day & she needs some attention. I am going to refill my pheromone diffuser and see if that helps, and I’ve been putting all the things that she likes to mark (pillows, blankets, etc…) put away when I’m not there – that seems to help. I also think things will improve once Chris moves in and I’m not gone every other night. Last week Annie swept her tail over one of my candles and singed half of her hair off. It didn’t hurt her, in fact she didn’t even notice it, but it really stunk up the bedroom.
The last week of the month was an expensive and emotional one. I hit a curb and destroyed one of my tires. Because Olivia is all-wheel drive, you can’t just replace one tire, you have to – as stated in my warranty and owner’s manual replace ALL FOUR. Which of course, I can’t afford. Luckily, I was able to do 90 day’s same as cash financing – or not so lucky when you consider the financial disaster I’m already in – and I’m hoping I can pay it of with my tax return. That same day I got my first collection call for my condo. I’ve been expecting it, but it was still like a blow to the head. Chris played the role of the hero and got on the phone with them – after they had called close to 20 times over the week and told them not to call any more – and they haven’t called since! The day before Thanksgiving I found out my cousin is pregnant and had myself a good cry. I know that if I’m meant to have a baby it will happen when the time is right, but that doesn’t make it any easier when those you know are being blessed with the one thing you truly want.
Thanksgiving was a great day. Lots of good food and family and friends. Our friend Roxy came by with her little girl Dolla, and Rhonda brought Jamie over in the afternoon. The boys have been teaching me how to play video games, and we spent a lot of the day in front to the TV, controllers in hand. Long after my bedtime I head home and let the boys play into the night since I was the only one that had to work the next day. After work, I picked up Jamie’s Christmas present and Chris and I locked ourselves in his room to wrap presents. Afterward we all sat down to play a game of monopoly – it’s probably been 20 years since I’ve done that!
I’m actually really excited for Christmas this year; we’ll have Jamie Christmas Eve night, so we’ll all be together to open gifts in the morning. I can’t wait to see their faces. This weekend I’m getting my first adult Christmas tree. Chris wants to go out and cut our own – I haven’t done that since I was little, but if he ends up working I’ll probably just go and buy one. It’ll be interesting to see what the cats do… I’ll let you know next month how many times the tree gets knocked over.
This month was filled with ups and downs, but I guess most usually are. It started with being able to watch history take place as the first African-American President was elected. I was unable to register in time to vote, but Obama would have been my choice, so I couldn’t have been happier. I’ve heard many say that they are now afraid of what’s to come, but I think that either of the candidates would have a long, tough road ahead of them to straighten out the country’s future.
I’ve also attended church a few times with Chris and his family. I appreciate and enjoy the community environment, but I still have reservations regarding organized religion, so sitting through the services is sometimes difficult. This church is based on their belief in the bible, and that it was written as a history; whereas I believe that it is more or less a book of stories written to inspire and teach morals and values in their telling. Also, I have an issue at the commercialization of the services – I swear that once they asked us to take out our wallets three times in the span of an hour. Chris and I have discussed trying out a few different churches to see if we can find one that we are both more comfortable with.
Little Annie Pants has been making “puddles”. She seems to do it when I have been away for more than a day & she needs some attention. I am going to refill my pheromone diffuser and see if that helps, and I’ve been putting all the things that she likes to mark (pillows, blankets, etc…) put away when I’m not there – that seems to help. I also think things will improve once Chris moves in and I’m not gone every other night. Last week Annie swept her tail over one of my candles and singed half of her hair off. It didn’t hurt her, in fact she didn’t even notice it, but it really stunk up the bedroom.
The last week of the month was an expensive and emotional one. I hit a curb and destroyed one of my tires. Because Olivia is all-wheel drive, you can’t just replace one tire, you have to – as stated in my warranty and owner’s manual replace ALL FOUR. Which of course, I can’t afford. Luckily, I was able to do 90 day’s same as cash financing – or not so lucky when you consider the financial disaster I’m already in – and I’m hoping I can pay it of with my tax return. That same day I got my first collection call for my condo. I’ve been expecting it, but it was still like a blow to the head. Chris played the role of the hero and got on the phone with them – after they had called close to 20 times over the week and told them not to call any more – and they haven’t called since! The day before Thanksgiving I found out my cousin is pregnant and had myself a good cry. I know that if I’m meant to have a baby it will happen when the time is right, but that doesn’t make it any easier when those you know are being blessed with the one thing you truly want.
Thanksgiving was a great day. Lots of good food and family and friends. Our friend Roxy came by with her little girl Dolla, and Rhonda brought Jamie over in the afternoon. The boys have been teaching me how to play video games, and we spent a lot of the day in front to the TV, controllers in hand. Long after my bedtime I head home and let the boys play into the night since I was the only one that had to work the next day. After work, I picked up Jamie’s Christmas present and Chris and I locked ourselves in his room to wrap presents. Afterward we all sat down to play a game of monopoly – it’s probably been 20 years since I’ve done that!
I’m actually really excited for Christmas this year; we’ll have Jamie Christmas Eve night, so we’ll all be together to open gifts in the morning. I can’t wait to see their faces. This weekend I’m getting my first adult Christmas tree. Chris wants to go out and cut our own – I haven’t done that since I was little, but if he ends up working I’ll probably just go and buy one. It’ll be interesting to see what the cats do… I’ll let you know next month how many times the tree gets knocked over.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
On election day
Let no one be discouraged
by the belief there is nothing one man or woman
can do against the enormous array of the world’s ills --
against misery and ignorance, injustice and violence
… few will have the greatness to bend history itself,
but each of us can work to change a small portion of events,
and in the total of all those acts
will be written the history of the generation.
It is from numberless, diverse acts of courage
and belief that human history is shaped.
Each time a person stands up for an ideal,
or acts to improve the lot of others,
or strikes out against injustice,
he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope,
and, crossing each other from a million
different centers of energy and daring,
these ripples build a current
that can sweep down the mightiest of walls
of oppression and resistance.
By Robert F. Kennedy
by the belief there is nothing one man or woman
can do against the enormous array of the world’s ills --
against misery and ignorance, injustice and violence
… few will have the greatness to bend history itself,
but each of us can work to change a small portion of events,
and in the total of all those acts
will be written the history of the generation.
It is from numberless, diverse acts of courage
and belief that human history is shaped.
Each time a person stands up for an ideal,
or acts to improve the lot of others,
or strikes out against injustice,
he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope,
and, crossing each other from a million
different centers of energy and daring,
these ripples build a current
that can sweep down the mightiest of walls
of oppression and resistance.
By Robert F. Kennedy
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The fortune cookie says...
To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream, not only plan but also believe.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Newsletter: October 2008
This is for you mom!
Today is gray and gloom; I guess that makes it the perfect weather for Halloween. Tonight I will be playing the role of the adult while Chris and Jamie go trick or treating. Chris is very excited to spend the holiday with his son; it’s the first one they’ve spent together on four years.
The first of the month marked the one year anniversary of the day Chris and I met. We celebrated by going to dinner; I gave him a new watch; he gave me a silver & diamond locket. It was a good night although it was marked by moments of my on-going depression.
In September I ran out of my anti-depressants. I was waiting until my new insurance came into effect to get a new prescription. I shouldn’t have waited so long. The result was the worst case of the blues I’ve ever experienced. I scared myself almost to death when I started thinking of ending my life. I’ve had plenty of times when I’ve thought “I just don’t want to do this anymore”, but this was the first time I’ve actually started planning how I could go about it. Don’t worry! I’m feeling much better now; I’m back on my medication and I found a new therapist.
Chris has proven himself over and over again to me through my emotional upheaval. I can’t tell you the number of times he’s just held me and let me cry. Or how many times he’s asked me how I’m doing only to hear me say “Not so good”, and accepts the fact that I can’t explain why.
On my birthday he showed up on my doorstep with a tiny chocolate cake and candles. I went to Church with the entire family; the first time I’ve attended a service on over 10 years. I can’t honestly tell you what I thought about the service; I was uptight and tense and I cried through most of it, with Chris’s reassuring arm around me. Afterward, Ken and Carolyn took us out to eat at the Olive Garden, where I preceded to drink too much wine. This of course means that I don’t remember much of the fist night that Chris stayed over at the apartment. But it really was a good day, I didn’t spend my birthday alone.
The rest of the month has flown by. Work, sleep, work, sleep. I’ve seen a doctor to get my medications, went to the OBGYN to check my plumbing, and found a therapist that I think I like, so I guess I’ve getting things under control.
I’ll let you know what happens next month….
Today is gray and gloom; I guess that makes it the perfect weather for Halloween. Tonight I will be playing the role of the adult while Chris and Jamie go trick or treating. Chris is very excited to spend the holiday with his son; it’s the first one they’ve spent together on four years.
The first of the month marked the one year anniversary of the day Chris and I met. We celebrated by going to dinner; I gave him a new watch; he gave me a silver & diamond locket. It was a good night although it was marked by moments of my on-going depression.
In September I ran out of my anti-depressants. I was waiting until my new insurance came into effect to get a new prescription. I shouldn’t have waited so long. The result was the worst case of the blues I’ve ever experienced. I scared myself almost to death when I started thinking of ending my life. I’ve had plenty of times when I’ve thought “I just don’t want to do this anymore”, but this was the first time I’ve actually started planning how I could go about it. Don’t worry! I’m feeling much better now; I’m back on my medication and I found a new therapist.
Chris has proven himself over and over again to me through my emotional upheaval. I can’t tell you the number of times he’s just held me and let me cry. Or how many times he’s asked me how I’m doing only to hear me say “Not so good”, and accepts the fact that I can’t explain why.
On my birthday he showed up on my doorstep with a tiny chocolate cake and candles. I went to Church with the entire family; the first time I’ve attended a service on over 10 years. I can’t honestly tell you what I thought about the service; I was uptight and tense and I cried through most of it, with Chris’s reassuring arm around me. Afterward, Ken and Carolyn took us out to eat at the Olive Garden, where I preceded to drink too much wine. This of course means that I don’t remember much of the fist night that Chris stayed over at the apartment. But it really was a good day, I didn’t spend my birthday alone.
The rest of the month has flown by. Work, sleep, work, sleep. I’ve seen a doctor to get my medications, went to the OBGYN to check my plumbing, and found a therapist that I think I like, so I guess I’ve getting things under control.
I’ll let you know what happens next month….
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Crazy, crazy for feeling so lonely…..
Right now I feel betrayed, hurt, and hopeless.
On Monday I made an appointment with a new doctor to help me get my emotions under control and my medications back on track. I was told my appointment would be today at 8:30 AM, and to print the new patient paperwork off of their website because they may not be able to mail them to me in time for my appointment. I got up and hour and a half early and made it into Spokane 15 minutes before my appointment. I walked up to the reception desk and was told that my appointment was for November 6 at 8:30, not today. I think she could tell how upset I was by this because she was able to find me an earlier appointment – a week from today. So I took my appointment card and headed for the elevator, holding back the tears. When I got down to the lobby I called my supervisor to see if I could come into work early, other wise I was just going to sit in my car and cry for an hour. I got in my car, took a “chill out pill” and tried to rationalize my feelings. I know that it was a clerical mistake, and not intentionally done to hurt or cause me harm. But the idea of going another week felling the way I do makes me want to melt into a sticky pile of Jenn on the floor that someone else is going to have to come along and clean up. “Ewe… what did I just step in?” “Oh, that’s just Jenn – she dissolved a little while ago, maybe we should grab the squeegee so she can finish disintegrating without anyone else stepping in her…”
I hate the fact that I need medication to make me feel normal. I hate that I’ll probably have to be on these medications for the rest of my life. I look at all the “normal” people that seem to get by everyday, to smile often, they appear happy, and I wonder how they do it. I wonder what the hell is so wrong with me that I can’t appreciate all of the wonderful things that I have in my life. I have a loving family, a wonderful boyfriend, a good job, a roof over my head, my fuzzy children, a warm bed to sleep in, I live in one of the most beautiful places that I’ve ever seen, I have supportive friends… so why am I so miserable? Why do I break down and cry for no reason at all? Then why do I turn abound and get so angry that I’m ready to throw things? Why do I push myself away from everyone I care about so that they don’t have to deal with me when I’m like this? Why can’t I allow myself to trust those around me that I know in my heart would be there and help support me through this?
I know one of my many flaws is that I’m an isolationist. I don’t want to burden others with my feelings or my needs. Also, I’m afraid to lean too hard on someone, I’ve had so many people walk away and leave me crumpled on the floor. It’s hard for me to trust that people will love me and accept me regardless, and be there when I reach out. But I’m learning to trust… hopefully the first person I’ll start with is myself.
On Monday I made an appointment with a new doctor to help me get my emotions under control and my medications back on track. I was told my appointment would be today at 8:30 AM, and to print the new patient paperwork off of their website because they may not be able to mail them to me in time for my appointment. I got up and hour and a half early and made it into Spokane 15 minutes before my appointment. I walked up to the reception desk and was told that my appointment was for November 6 at 8:30, not today. I think she could tell how upset I was by this because she was able to find me an earlier appointment – a week from today. So I took my appointment card and headed for the elevator, holding back the tears. When I got down to the lobby I called my supervisor to see if I could come into work early, other wise I was just going to sit in my car and cry for an hour. I got in my car, took a “chill out pill” and tried to rationalize my feelings. I know that it was a clerical mistake, and not intentionally done to hurt or cause me harm. But the idea of going another week felling the way I do makes me want to melt into a sticky pile of Jenn on the floor that someone else is going to have to come along and clean up. “Ewe… what did I just step in?” “Oh, that’s just Jenn – she dissolved a little while ago, maybe we should grab the squeegee so she can finish disintegrating without anyone else stepping in her…”
I hate the fact that I need medication to make me feel normal. I hate that I’ll probably have to be on these medications for the rest of my life. I look at all the “normal” people that seem to get by everyday, to smile often, they appear happy, and I wonder how they do it. I wonder what the hell is so wrong with me that I can’t appreciate all of the wonderful things that I have in my life. I have a loving family, a wonderful boyfriend, a good job, a roof over my head, my fuzzy children, a warm bed to sleep in, I live in one of the most beautiful places that I’ve ever seen, I have supportive friends… so why am I so miserable? Why do I break down and cry for no reason at all? Then why do I turn abound and get so angry that I’m ready to throw things? Why do I push myself away from everyone I care about so that they don’t have to deal with me when I’m like this? Why can’t I allow myself to trust those around me that I know in my heart would be there and help support me through this?
I know one of my many flaws is that I’m an isolationist. I don’t want to burden others with my feelings or my needs. Also, I’m afraid to lean too hard on someone, I’ve had so many people walk away and leave me crumpled on the floor. It’s hard for me to trust that people will love me and accept me regardless, and be there when I reach out. But I’m learning to trust… hopefully the first person I’ll start with is myself.
Friday, September 5, 2008
4 months
I haven’t done very well at keeping my promise to keep my website updated, have I? I’ve been up here for four months now, and this is the first time I’ve written. Life rolls on and takes up every second of everyday, no matter where you are.
I’m re-writing this because Chris gave his review of what I had so far, and thought that – as he put it, “its bullshit”. Of course, I’d only started writing it, and he hadn’t seen the direction I was going with, but I decided that it would probably be easier recap what my life has been like the last four months from the beginning, rather than work my way backwards, as I was doing.
Life is the same, but different in many ways up here. I work; I sleep; I read; I spend time with the cats; I worry about money. Same as always. (This is the part that Chris didn’t like – he emphatically states that my life is NOT the same – and I agree). What I was trying to do was contrast the differences and similarities between my life now and then... but that proved to take too much time, and I wasn’t really saying what I was meaning to, so I’m just going to type and see what I end up saying…
On May 2nd I said goodbye to my job and all my friends; I packed up my desk and closed the very long chapter of my life that had been ARUP. A few hours later I picked up Chris from the airport (his first flight ever!), gave him a quick tour of Salt Lake City, and took him home to introduce him to the “kids”. The next day we got up and ran some errands, picked up the truck and started loading up my life with the help of a few friends that were kind enough to help lift heavy objects. By late that afternoon, everything I own had been loaded into a very large Budget truck, and I left Utah forever. Myself, three cats, and a very cranky Chris (driving that big truck did not make him happy) spent the night somewhere in Southern Idaho, and then headed for Coeur D Alene in the morning. One we got there, the plan was for the cats and myself to stay in a motel until Monday morning so I could go sign my lease –but that idea flew out the window when I burst into tears with a panic attack when I realized that I was completely lost in a new city. Chris took me home to his parent’s and the two of us, and three fuzzy bodies hid in his small room for a very sleepless night.
I signed my lease on Monday, and was completely moved in my Tuesday. I had one week to get myself settled and organized before I started my new job on May 12th.
My new job… now that was an experience. I caught onto the work really quickly, and since I had prior laboratory knowledge, I got very little training. My supervisor left a copy of my doctor’s note on the copy machine for everyone to see, then just laughed about it when I told her. I got along well with a few of the girls, but otherwise felt like I was an unwelcome addition to the team. I didn’t feel like I was part of the team, and the fact that I wasn’t a permanent employee made me feel worthless and unappreciated. So I took the first opportunity I had to accept a full time (permanent) position in a department that I feel like I belong in. I get to deal with my friend in Utah everyday and I genuinely like spending time with the people I work with.
The first month I was here there was a lot of family drama. Chris’s brother was arrested on some pretty nasty charges, and it basically torn the family apart. Things have calmed down now, but there is still a trial looming, so I pray for the best possible outcome for this family that I have come to think of as my own.
Speaking of family, I was able to see almost all of mine when Chris and I went to my family reunion at the end of June. It was the first time I’d seen many of them in several years so most of them were basically strangers, but I got to spend time with my mom and grandma, and that made the whole trip worthwhile. What made it even better was the fact that I had Chris with me. It’s the first time in my life that I have someone that is not only willing to go to such a family function with me, but one that I am proud to introduce to the ones I love as the one I love.
I’m getting to know Chris’s 14 year old son. He’s a good kid, well – he’s 14 – so I guess for a 14 years old he’s a good kid. Since I met him four months ago his voice has started to change. I only see him every week or two, but each time his voice is lower, and lower. It’ll be interesting to see how he changes as he gets bigger; I think he looks a lot like his mother, maybe he’ll start to resemble Chris. Rhonda, Jamie’s mom and Chris’s ex, is a great lady. She and Chris get along great, so we all spend a lot of time together. She’s the only girlfriend I have so far up here.
Well, I’m starting to run out of steam here… not much else to talk about. You’d think I could write more than just a few paragraphs with as much time as I’ve had, wouldn’t you?
I’m re-writing this because Chris gave his review of what I had so far, and thought that – as he put it, “its bullshit”. Of course, I’d only started writing it, and he hadn’t seen the direction I was going with, but I decided that it would probably be easier recap what my life has been like the last four months from the beginning, rather than work my way backwards, as I was doing.
Life is the same, but different in many ways up here. I work; I sleep; I read; I spend time with the cats; I worry about money. Same as always. (This is the part that Chris didn’t like – he emphatically states that my life is NOT the same – and I agree). What I was trying to do was contrast the differences and similarities between my life now and then... but that proved to take too much time, and I wasn’t really saying what I was meaning to, so I’m just going to type and see what I end up saying…
On May 2nd I said goodbye to my job and all my friends; I packed up my desk and closed the very long chapter of my life that had been ARUP. A few hours later I picked up Chris from the airport (his first flight ever!), gave him a quick tour of Salt Lake City, and took him home to introduce him to the “kids”. The next day we got up and ran some errands, picked up the truck and started loading up my life with the help of a few friends that were kind enough to help lift heavy objects. By late that afternoon, everything I own had been loaded into a very large Budget truck, and I left Utah forever. Myself, three cats, and a very cranky Chris (driving that big truck did not make him happy) spent the night somewhere in Southern Idaho, and then headed for Coeur D Alene in the morning. One we got there, the plan was for the cats and myself to stay in a motel until Monday morning so I could go sign my lease –but that idea flew out the window when I burst into tears with a panic attack when I realized that I was completely lost in a new city. Chris took me home to his parent’s and the two of us, and three fuzzy bodies hid in his small room for a very sleepless night.
I signed my lease on Monday, and was completely moved in my Tuesday. I had one week to get myself settled and organized before I started my new job on May 12th.
My new job… now that was an experience. I caught onto the work really quickly, and since I had prior laboratory knowledge, I got very little training. My supervisor left a copy of my doctor’s note on the copy machine for everyone to see, then just laughed about it when I told her. I got along well with a few of the girls, but otherwise felt like I was an unwelcome addition to the team. I didn’t feel like I was part of the team, and the fact that I wasn’t a permanent employee made me feel worthless and unappreciated. So I took the first opportunity I had to accept a full time (permanent) position in a department that I feel like I belong in. I get to deal with my friend in Utah everyday and I genuinely like spending time with the people I work with.
The first month I was here there was a lot of family drama. Chris’s brother was arrested on some pretty nasty charges, and it basically torn the family apart. Things have calmed down now, but there is still a trial looming, so I pray for the best possible outcome for this family that I have come to think of as my own.
Speaking of family, I was able to see almost all of mine when Chris and I went to my family reunion at the end of June. It was the first time I’d seen many of them in several years so most of them were basically strangers, but I got to spend time with my mom and grandma, and that made the whole trip worthwhile. What made it even better was the fact that I had Chris with me. It’s the first time in my life that I have someone that is not only willing to go to such a family function with me, but one that I am proud to introduce to the ones I love as the one I love.
I’m getting to know Chris’s 14 year old son. He’s a good kid, well – he’s 14 – so I guess for a 14 years old he’s a good kid. Since I met him four months ago his voice has started to change. I only see him every week or two, but each time his voice is lower, and lower. It’ll be interesting to see how he changes as he gets bigger; I think he looks a lot like his mother, maybe he’ll start to resemble Chris. Rhonda, Jamie’s mom and Chris’s ex, is a great lady. She and Chris get along great, so we all spend a lot of time together. She’s the only girlfriend I have so far up here.
Well, I’m starting to run out of steam here… not much else to talk about. You’d think I could write more than just a few paragraphs with as much time as I’ve had, wouldn’t you?
Friday, May 9, 2008
Reconnected
I know, I know, it's not impossible to go a week without cable & internet, but it sure has felt like I've lost touch with the world for a little while.
Well, I'm here. Getting settled in my new apartment; getting to know my new "family"; getting to know my new home. It really is beautiful up here but it's colder too. It's rained everyday so far. That's something that I'll have to get used to...
I promise I will keep this site updated. I have lots of things to tell you about, but I have alot of things to catch up on myself... talk to you soon!
Well, I'm here. Getting settled in my new apartment; getting to know my new "family"; getting to know my new home. It really is beautiful up here but it's colder too. It's rained everyday so far. That's something that I'll have to get used to...
I promise I will keep this site updated. I have lots of things to tell you about, but I have alot of things to catch up on myself... talk to you soon!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Crying
Sometimes it hits me, right out of the blue, that I'm not the person that I thought I was. I'm not the independant woman that is OK doing everything by herself. I'm not the one that is perfectly content with her feline compamionship. I'm the woman that is sitting here in tears because my heart is hurting. I'm the one that has finally let someone get so close that I can't imagine continuing to live the life that I have known for so very long...
Last weekend
I had an amazing time this weekend. On Friday I flew from Salt Lake to Seattle to Spokane, where I took this amazing photo:
From the airport I drove to PAML for my interview:
Then I drove from Spokane to Rathdrum, where I hung out with Carolyn and Ken until Chris got home.
On Saturday I got the official tour, we went to the lake:
Then we went to the park & took a walk:
Then we went to dinner and back home.
Sunday before I had to head to the airport, we took a few more pictures and said goodbye:
At the airport, I made an exciting discovery... They sell WINE in the giftshops! I bought this bottle just because I loved the picture:
From the airport I drove to PAML for my interview:
Then I drove from Spokane to Rathdrum, where I hung out with Carolyn and Ken until Chris got home.
On Saturday I got the official tour, we went to the lake:
Then we went to the park & took a walk:
Then we went to dinner and back home.
Sunday before I had to head to the airport, we took a few more pictures and said goodbye:
At the airport, I made an exciting discovery... They sell WINE in the giftshops! I bought this bottle just because I loved the picture:
Monday, March 24, 2008
Just on of the reasons that makes him so special...
I was having a really bad today, and he knew it, so the next thing I knew this came across my email:
Your smile is locked away in my mind
I picture your face when I need to unwind
I love you , sweet jenn, and i wonder just how
I lived for so long without your love, until now
when you get feeling stressed out, and you just want to scream,
Remember im here, and our loves not a dream.
I love you sooooooooooooooo much, my girl.
Your smile is locked away in my mind
I picture your face when I need to unwind
I love you , sweet jenn, and i wonder just how
I lived for so long without your love, until now
when you get feeling stressed out, and you just want to scream,
Remember im here, and our loves not a dream.
I love you sooooooooooooooo much, my girl.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Just the two of us
I have tons to write about my visit to N. Idaho, but until I get a few minutes to sit down & tell you all about it, here are a few pictures.
Monday, March 10, 2008
The time has finally come...
Christopher got his smiley face last week. In prison terms this means he was given his exact date and time of his release. He will walk out of those gate at 8am on 3/17/2008; a free man. And I, along with his parents will be there to greet him. I dread the drive, especially after what happened the last time I went up to see him, but it feels like we've been waiting for this day forever, and there isn't the slightest chance that I'll miss it. I know that our relationship has been confusing to some, and I appreciate all of your concerns. It has been difficult to explain the situation, especially since it hasn't really begun yet. Once we have time to get to know each other in person, in the real world, I'll better be able to tell our story. But for now, know that I am happy, for the first time in my life I finally feel like everything I've been waiting for is within my grasp.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The One
Valentines Day is the time to say
I love you Jenn, more every day
You make me feel loved and secure
For you I’ve been searching, of this I am sure
The way we have bonded, and our
Lives have become one
It makes me look forward to our
Day in the sun
Sweet Jenn, our day is coming
Our time to rejoice
In our love for each other
Our hearts making the choice
I will be your true love
My heart says you’re mine
Please love me forever
You’re the one, Valentine!
I love you Jennifer!
CBC 2008
I love you Jenn, more every day
You make me feel loved and secure
For you I’ve been searching, of this I am sure
The way we have bonded, and our
Lives have become one
It makes me look forward to our
Day in the sun
Sweet Jenn, our day is coming
Our time to rejoice
In our love for each other
Our hearts making the choice
I will be your true love
My heart says you’re mine
Please love me forever
You’re the one, Valentine!
I love you Jennifer!
CBC 2008
My Valentine
Dearest Jennifer,
Happy Valentines Day Sweet girl. Will you please be my Valentine, now, and forever? You are the beautiful in my life, and you are everything that is sweet and true! I thank GOD every single day for you reaching out to me and allowing me to come into your life, and into your arms and excepting my faults and shortcomings, and accepting me for who and what I really am!!
I love you today, and more each and every day!
Be mine Jennifer
Love Christopher 2008
Happy Valentines Day Sweet girl. Will you please be my Valentine, now, and forever? You are the beautiful in my life, and you are everything that is sweet and true! I thank GOD every single day for you reaching out to me and allowing me to come into your life, and into your arms and excepting my faults and shortcomings, and accepting me for who and what I really am!!
I love you today, and more each and every day!
Be mine Jennifer
Love Christopher 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Promise
Today I sat across from you
and stared into your eyes
Your beauty and your charmimg ways
have made my realize
I love you Jennifer, and now I know
I can't go on without you
To wake up next to you each day
will be my dream come true
Your smile makes my heart sing and dance
you melt the the fog away
I promise Jenn, I'm your forever
and I mean the words I say
Please be my girl and promise me
you're mine through good and bad
I'll love and cherish and honor you
I'll be the best frient you've ever had
I Love You Sweetheart
CBC 1/19/2008
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